Day Minus Two

(copied from stuff I wrote elsewhere):

"So anyway. Today was my first muesli-free day (scrambled eggs and double cream for breakfast).

I felt pretty crap this morning, then perked up when I ate some home-made coleslaw (grated carrot, finely chopped red cabbage, double cream, natural yoghurt, nuts). But for the past several hours I've had quite strong lower back pain (and occasionally-all-around-the-middle-and-down-the-legs pain). It's hurting to move. And of course, given that I am a hypochondriac, I'm worried it's somehow connected. Kidneys maybe? Doesn't feel muscular - feels menstrual, but the timing's all wrong for that.

Doesn't help that my friend R is worried I'm on some crazy quack diet that's gonna make me ill. And the last time I did any extreme diet-changing (Vordeman's detox), it was indeed crazy quack nonsense and I made myself quite ill.

Not that I'm saying it IS crazy quack nonsense, just that I've found an unfortunate side-effect of ageing is that I've not only become less and less sure of my own knowledge and opinions, but also less and less convinced there's any way of knowing whether anyone else is right about anything (is that just me, or do other people get this??)."

...

"The muesli was the last thing to go. I've been low-carbing for a fortnight now, gradually decreasing the quantity of carbs. Just that today was the first day without muesli, and I was pretty much carb-free (whoops, apart from the beans!) all weekend apart from the muesli.

I AM a hypochondriac though, and have a stupid tendency to draw extreme conclusions on the flimsiest of evidence.

To anybody not used to it this diet does look extreme, particularly when apparently-healthy things such as beans, complex carbs and fruit are frowned upon.

I know I shouldn't expect instant results. Sadly as well as having hypochondriacal tendencies, I'm also impatient. It doesn't help that I've actually been trying to lose weight for four months now, with no results - and the last fortnight has represented such a massive shift in my eating habits (in comparison with a much more gentle one in the previous four months) that it's been disappointing not to see any apparent effects.

Anyway I helped Ally move a metal bed frame up to the attic yesterday, so even though it felt fine at the time, that may well be the culprit for the back pain! I might not have jumped to the diet-based conclusion if I hadn't had my friend panicking on my behalf yesterday.

Had yummy tea tonight: Fish cooked in cream, with green beans."

...

"I've more or less reached the point, I think, where my appetite is changing.

At first I was hungry all the time, now I just get occasional spikes, and they either go away on their own or I just have to eat a small quantity of (non-carby) food.

Today I've had...

breakfast: scrambled egg + double cream
lunch: wholemeal pita (carby concession for the day) + home made coleslaw (carrot, cabbage, double cream, nat yoghurt, nuts) + houmous
tea: salmon, prawns, assorted seafood cooked in double cream, + steamed green veg

I haven't actually counted the carbs and prob won't do until the Idiot-Proof book arrives, but I think it's not bad.

And I'm not hungry. Back is still killing though. Suspect I've done it some damage moving stuff."

...

"Doctors were advising me to lose weight when I was only eleven stone, so I'm pretty sure they'll be saying it now I'm 12. I don't have any other health conditions so there's no reason why not. I'm five foot four inches high - don't actually know my current BMI, but I'm officially overweight and possibly even "obese".

My main reasons for wanting to lose weight are because I'm having trouble with my knees (and it was this, when I was 11 stone, that caused the doctor to advise me to lose weight) and none of my clothes fit and I look crap.

I went out on Sat night, burst into tears, couldn't stop crying and had to come home again. Was a bit unexpected - had been a v low-carb day apart from muesli, so maybe that was an effect of the low-carbiness, who knows?

Anyway I'm a bit stubborn and obsessive about stuff like this, so I'm confident I can stick to it."