Day Four

SATURDAY 31st March 2012 (scroll down for food eaten today)

Felt fine, apart from carb cravings late at night and the sudden realisation that I may never be able look forward to weekend carby treats again. NO MORE CAKE!!! FOREVER! I can cope with this as a short term thing, but long term? Hmm. At least I can have dark choc. Realised how much my weekly routine is focused on weekend carby treats, and my mindset on "what lovely thing can I next shove in my gob?" At least that last part is largely satisfied by treats such as mushrooms fried in cream. But maybe this diet is better suited to someone who doesn't have a MASSIVE sweet tooth and has always always preferred foods that were on the sweet side? Even when eating savoury, I've always favoured the sweet stuff. All my favourite veg are sweet (and currently off limits, boo).

Also, lovely things like trips to cafes in order to eat cake and coffee. And I was looking forward to being able to take advantage of Kro bar's cheap coffee-and-cake deal at weekly choir meetings. Oh well. Maybe my habits, and more importantly desires, will change. Certainly I don't crave sugar hardly ever any more.

Weighed myself in the afternoon. Big mistake. I STILL weigh 12 stone. I could try getting out the tape measure (I measured all my circumferences on Wednesday), but what if it agrees with the scales? Also, it involves getting undressed which is really quite difficult with my back the way it is. Got into stupid discussion on BC forum about the mathematics of regular weighings, and whether it was mathematically more sound to weigh yourself frequently rather than as little as possible. Frequent measurings give more accuracy and a better ability to spot trends and ignore fluctuations, but they are emotionally catastrophic and anyway, my contention is that the bigger the gap, the more you will be able to see gross trends and fluctuations will be irrelevant: For instance, if I weigh myself a month from now and I'm a stone lighter, I won't be able to see all the fluctuations along the way, and it won't matter at all that I was 2 lb lighter the day before and 2 lb heavier the day after, because what I will see is a significant net weight loss, and that's what's important.

Was demoralising though: WHEN will I lose weight? Is F right that it's all a waste of time? "I reserve the right to point and laugh when it doesn't work," F said. I have finally caved and bought a copy of Gary Taubes' The Diet Delusion: Hoping I can use it to blind F with science.

But worried the multitude of painkilling medication I'm on because of my back may be stalling the weight loss. Am on valium, paracetamol, prescription-only codeine and some anti-inflammatory whose name I've forgotten. All recommended by doctor! Does make a difference though. Also doesn't help that I'm swotting madly for my SQL Database Development Microsoft Competency exam (70-433) on thurs, which means I have to stay at desk for longer than my back is really happy with, and have also had to go back onto cafetiere coffee to counteract the valium and stay awake late at night - so I can do more swotting.

Also, it's bloody easter next weekend!!! I have no desire to eat lots of choc though. Son Number One has been told that he is only allowed to buy me a small very-dark-choc easter treat, and I will eat it in homeopathic quantities. Ideally I won't eat any of it until the first fortnight of Phase 1 is up.

Got mild gastric reflux this afternoon and again this evening. Booooo, was hoping I would escape that on this diet. May well have been the coffee though. Will knock that on the head again once this exam is out of the way. Until the next thing comes along that means I have to stay awake all hours. Knowing me, it won't be long. It's juat that the only way I can get decent amount of sleep is if ALL I do is go to work and be a mum/housewife. I get so depressed/bored if I don't have other projects on the go too.

Breakfast: scrambled egg with one field mushroom, butter, soured cream, groundnut oil
Lunch: 2 hard boiled eggs, mayo, mustard-and-cress, fried caulimash, watercress + spinach + rocket

Snack: Field mushroom, soured cream, leftover fried onion+mush, roule, butter, groundnut oil, walnuts, almonds, garlic. Nowhere as nice with soured cream instead of cream (we'd run out of cream) - won't be doing that again. Felt slightly sick afterwards, but that may have been the codeine I'm taking for my back.

Tea: beefburger, homemade coleslaw (raw cabbage, raw carrot, almonds, nat yoghurt, mayo), slices cucumber

Snack: Slice ham (medium quality), slice cucmber

Snack: slice ham (medium quality)